Thursday, 16 September 2010
Friday, 14 May 2010
Husband & Wife
Wife asks husband,
"How many women have you slept with?"
Husband proudly replies,
"Only you, Darling - With all the others, I was awake."
"How many women have you slept with?"
Husband proudly replies,
"Only you, Darling - With all the others, I was awake."
Ash
I was about to post some jokes about Iceland on my blog. However, I think I'll wait until the dust settles.
Monday, 26 April 2010
Words and Numbers
Some people have a way with words, ...... others not do have.
It's similar with binary... There are three types of people, those who understand it and those who don't.
It's similar with binary... There are three types of people, those who understand it and those who don't.
Thursday, 8 April 2010
Changing Money in Communist Czechoslovakia
It was before the Berlin Wall came down, Communism was the norm, Czechoslovakia was under Russian control and all that entailed. It was not expensive to stay in Czechoslovakia and this factor and the country's highly regarded scientific expertise made it a convenient place to hold a conference.
To set the persona involved Kevin Feltham accompanied me. Without being too conceited I believe that both of us are adept at arithmetic. Indeed Kevin has a PhD which involved a good deal of computer programme writing, involving fairly complex calculations. Remember this was in the 1970's, pre-Microsoft.
In those days, exchanging currency in countries of Soviet States was difficult to say the least. Foreign currency transactions were severely restricted and confined to official channels at fixed and favorable exchange rates. (Within a few years, the exchange rate had lost its historical basis and no longer bore any direct relationship to purchasing power in other currencies).
There were limits of cash that could be exchanged and pertinently exchanges had to be made at the "Official" rate and at a Bank..
We weren't exactly out of cash when we strolled over the famous Charles Bridge, a highlight of the Prague scene. A man sidled up to us and said in English "Would you like some money?" Who could resist answering "Yes" which one of us did.
Kevin produced a £10 and a £5 note. The man's eyes lit up and he quoted a rate of 90 Koruns to the pound which was nearly five times the "Official" rate. We must have agreed, don't forget our Czech language skills were limited. He then proceeded to place wads of notes in Kevin's pockets, not one pocket but several. This was done in a very underhand and surreptitious manner.
Czech money 2Czech money 1
We felt rich at this point and decided to find a bar in which to celebrate. By our calculation we should have had 1,350 Koruns. I began to count the contents of one of Kevin's pocket and that one pocket alone contained over 1000. There more more pockets to emptied and their contents counted. There was a total of 10,000 Koruns, so we had £500 at the "Official" rate for a £15! The man had made a mistake and given us seven times the unofficial Black Market rate.
Shocked and confused we ordered another beer each. We quickly calculated that a beer which cost 50p at the Official rate was costing us about 0.5p!
We did really look for the tout, really, mainly because we thought that he would be looking for us! We didn't find him but we did pass a shop which sold hats. Kevin thought that a hat might disguise us somewhat so we went inside and bought two hats, for about 2p each.
You'd think that we would be in a wonderful predicament, lots of money to spend, but... There was nothing to spend it on. The hat shop for example sold only one style of hat. We went into a Department store and could only find a great mound of hard rubber discs, about 10,000 at a guess. They were Ice-Hockey pucks, we really should have bought one as a souvenir. I fact we probably could have bought all of them.
Beer was almost free to us, and there is only so much one can drink, though we did try.
The other problem was that we couldn't change it back into Pounds Sterling, as this was against the law. We did exchange some with two of our close colleagues at the conference, Barry & Claire. Th exchange rate we agreed with them was 30 Kroums to the pound & they thought they had a good deal. So we had our original sterling back.
We did eat out at the best restaurants we could find. We didn't understand the menu items but didn't really need to, we merely ordered the most expensive things.
There was some cash remaining when we had to return to the UK, what did we do with it?
This happened about 40 years ago and I've forgotten many details and I'm hoping someone reading this (esp Messers Professor Sneath, Sackin) will remember exactly when and which conference it was that we attended and any other memories.
My colleague Dr Kevin Feltham has read the above and has added the following:
It was the first trip to Prague, and I seem to recall spending most of the remainder, after drinking and eating as much as we could, on some souvenirs - e.g. I bought a painting at the shop near the castle which would normally have cost £50 or so, but I ended up buying at our exaggerated exchange rate for around £7
To set the persona involved Kevin Feltham accompanied me. Without being too conceited I believe that both of us are adept at arithmetic. Indeed Kevin has a PhD which involved a good deal of computer programme writing, involving fairly complex calculations. Remember this was in the 1970's, pre-Microsoft.
In those days, exchanging currency in countries of Soviet States was difficult to say the least. Foreign currency transactions were severely restricted and confined to official channels at fixed and favorable exchange rates. (Within a few years, the exchange rate had lost its historical basis and no longer bore any direct relationship to purchasing power in other currencies).
There were limits of cash that could be exchanged and pertinently exchanges had to be made at the "Official" rate and at a Bank..
We weren't exactly out of cash when we strolled over the famous Charles Bridge, a highlight of the Prague scene. A man sidled up to us and said in English "Would you like some money?" Who could resist answering "Yes" which one of us did.
Kevin produced a £10 and a £5 note. The man's eyes lit up and he quoted a rate of 90 Koruns to the pound which was nearly five times the "Official" rate. We must have agreed, don't forget our Czech language skills were limited. He then proceeded to place wads of notes in Kevin's pockets, not one pocket but several. This was done in a very underhand and surreptitious manner.
Czech money 2Czech money 1
We felt rich at this point and decided to find a bar in which to celebrate. By our calculation we should have had 1,350 Koruns. I began to count the contents of one of Kevin's pocket and that one pocket alone contained over 1000. There more more pockets to emptied and their contents counted. There was a total of 10,000 Koruns, so we had £500 at the "Official" rate for a £15! The man had made a mistake and given us seven times the unofficial Black Market rate.
Shocked and confused we ordered another beer each. We quickly calculated that a beer which cost 50p at the Official rate was costing us about 0.5p!
We did really look for the tout, really, mainly because we thought that he would be looking for us! We didn't find him but we did pass a shop which sold hats. Kevin thought that a hat might disguise us somewhat so we went inside and bought two hats, for about 2p each.
You'd think that we would be in a wonderful predicament, lots of money to spend, but... There was nothing to spend it on. The hat shop for example sold only one style of hat. We went into a Department store and could only find a great mound of hard rubber discs, about 10,000 at a guess. They were Ice-Hockey pucks, we really should have bought one as a souvenir. I fact we probably could have bought all of them.
Beer was almost free to us, and there is only so much one can drink, though we did try.
The other problem was that we couldn't change it back into Pounds Sterling, as this was against the law. We did exchange some with two of our close colleagues at the conference, Barry & Claire. Th exchange rate we agreed with them was 30 Kroums to the pound & they thought they had a good deal. So we had our original sterling back.
We did eat out at the best restaurants we could find. We didn't understand the menu items but didn't really need to, we merely ordered the most expensive things.
There was some cash remaining when we had to return to the UK, what did we do with it?
This happened about 40 years ago and I've forgotten many details and I'm hoping someone reading this (esp Messers Professor Sneath, Sackin) will remember exactly when and which conference it was that we attended and any other memories.
My colleague Dr Kevin Feltham has read the above and has added the following:
It was the first trip to Prague, and I seem to recall spending most of the remainder, after drinking and eating as much as we could, on some souvenirs - e.g. I bought a painting at the shop near the castle which would normally have cost £50 or so, but I ended up buying at our exaggerated exchange rate for around £7
Saturday, 3 April 2010
Airborne Blog
Blooging from an A320 Airbus over Paris. Flight mode switched on in iPhone so blog won't be posted until we land.
Monday, 15 March 2010
Achilles tendon injury
Lots of people are concerned because David Beckham has injured his Achilles tendon. He has my sympathy as I snapped mine many years ago. BUT my other Achilles is now sore & it's preventing me from doing my daily 2 - 3 mile walk. Say aaaahhhh!
Monday, 22 February 2010
Sunday, 21 February 2010
Help; Benefits of Blog
I've been asked to give a presentation to a group of senior citizens about “ Benefits of New Technology”.
The person who asked me to do this said that this blog was an example of such a benefit.
I have my own ideas but what do you think I should include? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
Friday, 19 February 2010
Unusual: What's not there?
This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly
you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and
plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing
is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think
about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at
it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!
you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and
plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing
is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think
about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at
it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Scottish Language and Accents
Several years ago a lady friend of ours spent 6 months in Zimbabwe. She returned with Southern African accent, which stayed with her for a year or so, gradually diminishing.
Last week I stayed in a ski chalet in France with 5 other men. All the men were from Scotland, and frankly I had difficulty understanding them and I was concerned that I may return to the UK speaking with a Scottish accent.
Last week I stayed in a ski chalet in France with 5 other men. All the men were from Scotland, and frankly I had difficulty understanding them and I was concerned that I may return to the UK speaking with a Scottish accent.
I don't really know the difference between an accent and a dialect. I thought that if different words were used for exactly the same meaning, it was a dialect. If so, in this case it was a dialect. For example, for the word “No” the guys said “Nay”.
It may not have been a dialect even, it may have been another language. I do speak some French and if they had been speaking that language I would possibly have understood more.
I probably didn't understand one word in three and at first had to keep asking them to repeat themselves. This they did, a repetition of the phrase exactly, so I still didn't understand. They must have thought I was dense or deaf. Maybe I am?
We had 2 chalet girls looking after us and lo and behold, Sophie quickly admitted that she was born and spent her early years in Scotland. There was an English Chalet girl, Jess, so I wasn't totally alone. I asked Sophie if the Scots could understand me and she affirmed that they could. I can't really follow that logic, can anyone explain?
The five guys did not live in the same areas of Scotland and it was pointed out to me that I wasn't the only one who couldn't understand, at times, they could't understand each other, ie the Glaswegians could not understand the Aberdonians.
To complicate matters of the 6 men, 3 were called Michael,..... I think ….
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